Sonja, Austin, Taylor and Chris Noskowiak and Cayce Crews

Monday, March 29, 2010

Today hurt me deeply

I received a phone call today from my sister who was visiting my parents. She left me a voice mail so I called and got the message. She was saying that somehow when we was living at my moms house that Chris had the phone company to switch my parents account into our business account, so my parents were paying for our business account all these months and she was Sure I didn't know anything about this. So... she was actually accusing my husband of doing this, but didn't think I knew what he had done. I told her, we had just paid our phone bill last week which was 170 something dollars and so there was no way he could have been paying our bill..... anyway, we had not even had service since Nov cause the house burned. She said, well they turned off momas DSL and they found on their phone bill, the name Infinity Signs next to the DSL. The more we talked I was able to find out that my mother pays the DSL and my dad pays the phone bill. I asked, did they pay more than they normally do for their bill? I was told No. I said, well they couldn't pay for our bill then in that case either as we have a business line and not a residential line and ours is more expensive. I said what I do know is after the fire, we called the phone company and talked to them about us being able to still access our email from my parents home. They said they would roll the emails addresses over on their account since you can have so many email addresses anyway. So all they did was move our email addresses on their account. Chris got on the phone with the same girl my sister had talked to. She said someone had tried to do us a favor and somehow must have put the account in our name. Then she said my parents had not been billed since January for their account. That sounded strange cause my sister said my dad had paid the phone bill each month. Hmmm..... he paid the phone bill but wasn't billed? Why would anyone do that? So my husband says, the only other thing we did was have Mickey (my cousin) do a forwarding of our calls from the business line to my cell phone, but even that didn't last long.

After that conversation I talked to my sister again who insisted that the girl was telling her that my husband was blaming Mickey and he was gonna be in a lot of trouble for this and my sister was saying how she was worried that my husband was gonna cause him to lose his job, etc.... Well... Mickey's mom was having surgery and he wasn't home so we didn't want to bother him. We was told by my daughter than when they passed down the road, they seen my sister and dad coming from where it looked like Mickeys house. Yea.... I figured they were gonna try to beat us to him to make sure he knew Chris was trying to blame him. The next afternoon, while I was going past Mickey's home, I noticed he was in the yard. I telephoned my husband who did ride up and talk to him and everything was just fine and that he knew he had done nothing wrong so he wasn't worried about it. He told Chris, “We can talk, you know we're good”. With that said.... that was just another day of confusion. This is everyday for us..... don't you know hasatan (the devils name in Hebrew)loves us? LOL

Friday, March 26, 2010

Manipulation of a parent

This afternoon we were getting our things packed up to leave for Myrtle Beach. We have some sign work to see about there, which is for our barter customers. We figured we could try to get away a little bit. We found out we had a dog sitter available on barter as well, so we had planned to take the dogs with us.

As the day progressed we learned Taylor's friend (D) had offered to see about the dogs for us if we wanted to leave them. We were gonna have to leave the birds anyway. I just hated that. Worrying about someone burning the house the rest of the way with the animals in it has me more worried than the house.  We decided though we would leave them since he promised to let the dogs out often for us.

My son came down this afternoon. He had no idea we had moved back home and didn't want to get into anything, so we really didn't talk about what had really went on at my parents house too much, so he didn't get involved. I had asked (D) to go to my parents house to get my rocking chair that my sons grandmother gave me when I was pregnant with him and that I had rocked him and the rest of my children in. He and Taylor drove down to get it but he was stopped at the door being told he could not get the chair. Not Him, not my daughter, nor my husband. My mother said if I wanted it, I had to come get it myself. Knowing she just wanted to say what she wanted to say to me and we would do nothing but argue, I said, "I will just let her have it"! I have no more energy to argue. In fact, I have been sick for about 3 days now. Nauseated, can't eat much, not taking in enough liquids, feeling like someone socked me in the stomach... I thought I had a virus. Turns out, today I felt well when I woke up but as the events came to pass this afternoon, I began to hurt in my stomach again. So then I realized it was truly my nerves. Not having been to a dr. in 13 years and knowing one reason I had to move  out was because I was getting to the point where if I didn't I was gonna need some nerve meds, I started to realize that my nerves had been really starting to get worse than I thought. So this mechanism goes off in me to just RUN!!!! Run away from it all.... Run away from the pressure... Running not just away from a situation, but running TO peace!

My oldest son like I said was down. He went to talk to my mom about him getting the chair. She told him NO. She said it had been there 10 years and if I wanted it, I had to come get it. He even told her I was upset and didn't want to talk.

I am now physically sick and hate to admit that. I have took care of myself and my family and have been so proud to be in good health. When you think about it though, how much does a person have to go through before their physical body starts to tear down as well?

I can only pray that G-d will continue to give me strength to go on, no matter what decisions I have to make. I remember the quote from his word, "Greater is he who is in ME, than HE that is in the world".  When I am weak, I know he is strong. He knows I am trying to stay quiet, to not talk and stir up anything. I just want to be left in peace now. What's wrong with that?

So we left (D) there with the dogs and birds. He decided to go out and walk the dogs. My brother (not knowing exactly where we were) took the opportunity to go to my house and start talking to (D). He told him if I took him to court over the property he was NOT going to give me the property back. He asked where we were. (D) told him he didn't know but Chris was in the house and I was in town. He said he was sorry he lied.  He said a few other things like, he didn't want anything to come in between him (D) and his friendship". (D) said he was not in it.  I had to let him know tonight that he was NOT in it but I don't like carrying tales, so he enabled my brother to tell him what he wanted to, and then to come back and tell me what he said was exactly what my brother wanted him to do. I honestly am trying to cut ties with people who will go back and forth. I don't want to hear anymore nor do I want my business talked about.

Earlier today while (D) was there. He said my mom told him that she did have respect for him until my sister (R) told her that he did donuts in the road.  Oh my.... is this her daughter whom she said was nothing but a big liar and wanted nothing to do with her while we were living there? Wow how things changed so quickly once we moved out.

We are now in Myrtle Beach. Going to try and not worry about the animals so much tonight. I can only pray that no-one hurts them. If they finish burning my house, well that's ok.... but at least spare my animals.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Arson and nothing we can do about it!

We called in another electrician today for a quote on how much it would cost to get our wiring in the house re-done since the Fire Dept said it was a wiring problem. The electrician told us it would take him about 30 minutes at the most to get it fixed. He took my husband under the house and not only told him but showed him two places under there (which was near Austins room) that someone tried to burn our house down. We had suspected this but wasn't sure because of the fire dept.

The electrician got on the phone and even called and talked to Gene W which was on County Council and told him that our house was set fire to by someone. He told the electrician that he was taking the word of the Fire Dept and couldn't do anything about it.

We called the guy at the Fire Dept here who filled out the report and he told us he was not going to change his story cause he thought the cause of fire was wiring and it had already been 4 mos since the fire. Well, long story short...... we lost that battle too! No-one did nothing. They turned a blind eye and let this go.

Since I have a sister who has burned 2 of her houses and she was around my brothers g/friend that night, we aren't sure if it wasn't her or the g/friend and herself! 

We did all we could do to get them to investigate but they wouldn't do anything for us. The night of the fire, my brothers g/friend stated to the Fireman (who took the statement) that she had heard the family was coming home so she went into our house and turned on the dryer and the heater for us.  Now she was left with a key to our home, we told her to turn the heater on if it got cold, so the animals would not get cold. We also told her there were some clothes in the dryer that needed dried cause they were damp. She said she would dry them as she was gonna be over at our house so she could get away from my brother.

Now she is the one who called us while we were 3 hours away in Myrtle Beach and told us our house was on fire. So why would she tell the fireman she turned the heater and dryer on cause she heard we were coming home? Why would of we been coming home if we just got there?

And although they said it sounded funny, they still were not going to investigate!

Can you say MAD????

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Fridge and Freezer is working now

We finally got the fridge and freezer put into my screen printing shop. We cleaned the shop first and put them in. We will now make trips to the shop to get things out to eat, but so thankful we have power to keep the food cold.

It's been 4 months since the fire. We have had several contractors come and look at the house and promise to give an estimate but hasn't come through with one. We don't know why we are having such a rough time getting someone to re-build what has burned.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Talk about Meaness!

We had the door opened today, trying to hook up some electricity from the pole into the house using an extension cord. Next thing we know, my brothers girlfriends dogs started barking at us at the steps and wouldn't shut up. I shouted for him to come get his dogs. Well, he wouldn't do so, so it wasn't long as we were walking through the house that we found his dog IN our house. Chris shouted, "The dog crapped in the house"! Boy were we mad. So, Chris goes over to the back part of the yard and is shouting at my brother about getting his dog and my brother is shouting that he is in his own yard and cusses my husband. So, he gets mad and he calls the cops. The cops tell us they can't determine who owns what and he laughs at us cause we called them out there because the dog pooped in our house. Nevertheless he made my brother come in and clean it up.

My dad arrives there and I still don't know why he came. My brother shouts to me that this is his land and I tell him we will see about that. But... I later find out that when we surveyed our property, we thought the surveyor put our back yard in the surveying. He didn't, cause the back yard come to find out was already surveyed by my brother and he owned our back yard. So we find that soon as we step off my back door steps, HE owns the property. Seems back when my dad was gonna give him a small piece to use for some collateral, that instead of surveying that small piece, he surveyed the whole back yard, which my dad was later gonna give to me. I don't know how I missed that part, I guess it's cause I left that part up to my husband to make sure we had an acre of land so we could get this house on it. My dad signed away the land thinking my brother did what he told him to do. Now we own nothing but a front yard with septic lines through it.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Back to the only home we had

We left the hotel, birds, dogs and kids. We came back to the only piece of home we had. The smell was just awful, and it was so cold in there. I'm not sure what was colder, the house or my heart. I felt like a whole lot of love and warmness had passed on. I felt so numb. I could not believe, here we were.... back in a home we had loved so much that had caught fire, no other place to go to find peace, just nothing! Where was G-d I wondered?

We went back to my moms to get all our stuff packed up. It wasn't long after we got there and my sister and her husband came up. My mom had called her and told her about what happened. Although she said she was not in it, I felt like I had lost the only one I thought cared about me at that moment. I could not believe she came and watched us pack up. I was hurt, but so was the rest of my family. No-one offered to help us, but they stood and watched us as we packed and took things to the van. Taylor's boyfriend was a big help as he had his truck there and he helped us get our things.

It was a long hard day. I can not say I ever have felt this empty inside in all my life. I felt like everyone I had thought loved me, had gone. Almost like me thinking they loved me was just a disillusion or something. I mean, how could family just watch this? 

We bundled up to stay warm and we petitioned off part of the house so we could stay in the living room. We slept on the old fire damaged furniture cause by this time, we still had not gotten it out the house.

We called a guy we knew from the local campground and asked about taking a shower. He told us we were welcome, anytime. Thank you G-d, we know you are here with us.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

It was time to go

Tonight, I had been laying in the bed watching TV and looking at a quilt magazine and Chris had fallen asleep there on the bed as well. We all know in my moms house that where the room is where we are sleeping, has some thin walls. Outside the bedroom door, mom was sitting in her chair watching TV. I could hear her talking to my sister about the laundry. She kept going over and over to my sister that she was gonna leave her responsible for the couch and chair, that it got covered up with the sheets as she didn't want my dogs on it. She went on and on about this until I got upset. I felt like she knew I could hear every word she said. So I go t so upset I woke Chris up. I told him if he didn't get up and get the dogs or say something, I was gonna leave. Well, he gets up pretty upset cause I had woke him up. He goes into the room and proceeds to tell my mom that she didn't have to worry about the dogs cause he was just gonna put a stop to it all tomorrow, that we would just move out. She told him not to get smart with her and she didn't care if we Did move out! But she got out the chair and went into the room and told my dad that he had been disrespectful to her and he came out mad and saying stuff to Chris.

I was so upset I had no idea my son was even in the shower. I was shouting for him to come on, get your shoes on, put your clothes on! It was cold out and it was about midnight. My mom kept saying, "I can't believe you are leaving, that you are this mad". I told her I just couldn't take anymore and if I stayed any longer, I would be on anti depressants. So that night, we packed up the birds, dogs and kids and went to a hotel, not knowing what we would do the next morning. We got a hotel that night. I think it was 70.00 for the night. Money we really didn't have.
It was a long night!

My friend got married!!!

I'm sure I don't have the date on this correct since I am back dating, but my friend got married on or near this date and I was her matron of honor. I was so excited to be in her wedding and so happy she asked me.

Here we are

Here is Jamey and herself :)

She had a beautiful wedding and I was happy to be with her and in the wedding! Love ya GG!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I am SO Blessed, so thankful and feel so loved by you all!!

This is a Story I posted on the HGTV Quilting and Needlework Boards Giving thanks for the wonderful project my friend Lisa organized for my family. She has truly been my friend since DAY 1 of us losing our home. A few pics might be different or added cause I think I had one or two out of sequence. Either way, here is the story. I wanted to share with all the rest of my Friends, whether homeschooling friends, Facebook friends or other. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it, AND being on the receiving end of an AWESOME Tearful Day!

Posted Feb 28, 2010 01:07 AM

I'd like to start this off as a story along the way, so you feel like you were here with me. I know I sure felt your love and spirit here Smile My family and I are so thankful for the act of kindness, love, support, and most of all, your friendship you have shown us since our home burned in Nov. Seems just like yesterday and oh how the time is flying. I'll have more to say along the way, so let me get started. I think I have over 30 pics to post! Hope you are ok with that Smile

Let me start by saying, IowaLisa (Lisa) and I text each other pretty often. I am sure I hear from her at least twice a week just to say hello and she is thinking of me. It has uplifted my spirits on so many occasions. I know she has has to get tired of all the belly aching too from me, but has never said a word, just listened and let me vent. Lisa, thanks so much for that... we all need to do it sometimes, but I know I did it excessively.

So Lisa text me and told me she had stuff to send to my children and she would let me know when she sent the boxes off. I said ok. I just figured she was sending some clothes for the children like Pam did. Well, that's what I thought! She text me yesterday and said the boxes would be here today, but wait till they ALL get there before I let them open them. I thought, WOW.... more than one box?? What is in them???

I was eating lunch when the children themselves brings in the boxes. I was so shocked to see 3 boxes. I told them I would finish eating and they could open them. I tried to eat, but the more I did, the more the tears fell. I don't know, it just caught me by surprise that it was 3 boxes and I started to think just how sweet and thoughtful that was to send my children something. My heart was so like mush already!! I text Lisa and asked which box first if any and she said, open up box 1 or 2 and 3 last. She said, "In it, is an envelope". I got to thinking, "An envelope"? For my children? I peeked into box 1 and there was an envelope, but I also seen what looked like a quilt! I was saying, OMGosh Lisa.... a quilt?????? I don't know if I said anything else for a while after that, LOL. I finally got everyone, including my parents into the kitchen and I laid out the boxes and asked,
"Which one do you want to open"? Taylor said, "I want the 3rd Box"! Austin says, "I want the first box", and Chris said, "I guess I will open up box #2". So we were all set!

        Here is Austin opening up Box #1

After Austin opens the box and we discover there are "TWO" quilts in the box, we wanted to know which one was Taylor's and which one was Austins? So I opened up the envelope which contained a card and started to read.

For those of you who do not know this, I have a parrot. She says Momma all day long IF she can hear my voice. In this pic, you will see me laughing cause I am actually crying and I hear my mom shout, "Shut up Elvis, your Momma is crying"! Ok, I thought that was funny in between my crying.

In the next pic, more tears shed, my mom said, "I am going to my bedroom if you don't stop crying and get opening up those boxes".At that time, this is the excerpt from the card I
was reading at the time.
"Think about life's LITTLE JOYS...
Homemade Cookies,
handmade toys,
Cotton clouds,
Buttercups and butterflies...

I said to her, "I don't HAVE a kitchen to bake cookies in of my own right now". Trying to make her understand, but she said, "You are supposed to be happy, not cry"! Guess she couldn't understand, I AM happy but this card is so sweet and touching my heart.

And in this pic, I guess I lost it! Sobbing at this point, not being able to believe you all made my kids a quilt... feeling so loved by you all!! And by the way, soon as I read the beginning of the card, it says "Especially for Sonja & Family From Your Hgtv Friends", I then KNEW the boxes was not from Lisa, LOL. Yes, I knew then, yall were up to something!

 Still reading with DH looking on Smile

On the other side of the card where I quoted
about the cookies is another part which touched me greatly. It says,
"Starlit Nights and sunny days,
Words of hope
and love and praise,
Cocoa in a favorite mug,
A smile, a friend,
a big warm hug"!
I received your hug!! It felt so GOOD!

After reading this wonderful moving card, I found a note to read after wards. Lisa said she wanted to make 4 quilts, one for each of us that lived in the fire damaged home and she had more than enough blocks to do so. She said, "The purple border one is for you Sonja". Oh my gosh... "A quilt for me"? Someone made ME a quilt"? I have never had someone make and give myself a quilt personally. This quilt is sooo beautiful!!! "Well, let me show you"!!!

Here we are looking over the beautiful blocks in my quilt!

The kids and I enjoyed looking at all the pretty blocks which you all made for my quilt. So many pretty ones.

Just curious... "Jayardi, did you make this block"?

I LOVE Tweety!!!

Here is a pic of MY quilt with my parents holding a corner and looking on. My mom  She kept saying, "Sonja, I don't have a quilt, when are you gonna finish mine"? I told her
soon, but I am still trying to learn how to quilt like you ladies. Bless her heart, she said, "I don't care how you quilt it, I won't mind how you do it". I said, "well, I will practice on yours then". She said OK! lol. I really need to do that soon!

Beautiful Quilt!

Lisa said in the note as well, "The one with the star backing is for your daughter Taylor, and as for the other two boys, they can figure out which one they want to claim as their own". So we opened up the Blue backed quilting to find this gorgeous Red, White and Blue Quilt. Yall KNOW I love those colors in a quilt. And... the blocks I had been working on was for a quilt for my husband which was smoke damaged. Not sure I got all the smoke out of them as I tried to wash and soak them. They smelled ok, but I had to pack them back up, so who knows?

This is beautiful and Austin claimed this one for himself! He LOVES it and will be on here
tomorrow sometime to thank yall along with my husband and my daughter Taylor.

On the back of Austins Quilt was a pretty block places there. What a super way to display a beautiful block. I will have to remember this!

Wanted yall to see it! It was made by Chanlady. Love it Chanlady!

And here is Austin All Wrapped in YOUR Love!!!

My DH opened the 2nd box to reveal Taylors Quilt and another quilt.
Here is Taylors quilt and boy does she love it! She has it on her bed now, although it's a single bed. She will have LOTS to cuddle up to.

And here she is, standing ON a chair holding up HER Quilt! I LOVED hers and especially loved some of those floral prints in there Smile

Here is another pic of us holding up the quilt. It's so good and heavy. Taylor has it on her
bed and LOVES it!

Lisa- Taylor loved the back of her quilt so much  she wanted a pic of it even before the front, LOL.

And here is Taylor all wrapped up in your Love!! Can you tell she loves her quilt?

DH opened his blue backed quilt to find a Red, White and Blue Patriotic Sampler. He LOVED it!!! These are some pretty blocks and I am so touched he now has a Patriotic Quilt as he served in the Marine Corps for 8 years and National Guards for 2. Perfect Quilt!!!

My DH wrapped in your LOVE and he did this without us telling him to do it for the camera!! See.. He is soo touched, like you wouldn't believe and he is such a kid! Thank YOU Lisa and Ladies for giving him something. He keeps saying, I wish I had friends like you! I keep saying, You do, cause they LOVE you too! Now as you see, he KNOWS ITSmile


He turned around so a pic could be taken of the blocks. I am so happy to see him SO Happy! He will be on later to say hello!

 And.... here is MY quilt with ME wrapped up in yalls love. Lisa what an awesome quilt!!! The colors, the quilting... I just can't say enough about this quilt. I have a few pics of it so stay tuned!! lol

And another of some of the blocks on the back!

Ok, when I went to take this next pic, I felt a hand slide around my waist. I honestly THOUGHT it was my younger sister, (who is a special needs child age 36)who came up and put their arm around me for the picture, cause she does it so often. Imagine my surprise when I turned around and it was my husband, who looks like he is beaming with love and appreciation too for this quilt!! What a Kodak Moment!


And then... I just felt like since he wanted to share my quilt, I'd just wrap us both in LOVE!! I LOVE this pic of us both! Notice I had taken my hair down. I sure didn't prepare my hair and face for any pics. Of course, my makeup would have been gone anyway! lol

Stuck in this box was also a block which NICUNurse made. Oh my gosh, Taylor and I both fell in love with it!!! Look at this!!! So much work went into this and now Taylor and I are arguing over who is gonna get it!!! LOL.

Pam, this is so beautiful.. so special!! Maybe I can learn to make one cause I do have the yoyo maker. Did you do these on one of those?

Then I found out, MnGrandma actually took the block and made a small pillow sham from it! What a beautiful piece of art! I was so happy to hear MnGrandma had contributed to helping. I have missed her so much, since the first retreat!

(hoping this pic turns out, made a small collage) (OH.. the reason Taylor has an evil look on her face is.. "This is the look she gave me when I said, "This is MY Pillow Sham"! LOL Talk about 17 year olds with an attitude!

After we took pics with our quilt, there was a ziplock baggy with a note in it. Actually two
of them. The first contained a note from Lisa telling me about the conversation we had back in Nov. about a few things. She was recalling how I told her I had no quilt to call my own and the stash of blocks, and Batiks were in your smoke damaged house. (I did later find out my Batiks were ok cause they had double plastic bags covering them on the
shelf and had been removed promptly). She went on to say Quilters understand the value of a quilt and the cost that goes into making one. She said, "I knew I had to do something to help put a smile to your face, and reassure you that many are out there thinking and praying for you and your family. She said, "I put a post out to the HGTV members asking if anyone wanted to help contribute to your family". She said, "46 ladies mailed me blocks,
fabric, batting, an actual quilt top, thread, and money all for YOUR FAMILY!!!

My heart was so full already.. you put a HUGE SMILE on my face Lisa and friends! SEE, just look!

Then, there was this other letter which said to open before last box! I open it and read, "The Tale of the quilts"(I am going to sum this note up here, but with Lisa's permission will print the whole notes onmy blog when I can get the time to update it next week!

In this note Lisa tells me that the beginning of January that her and EJ180 (Mandy) went to
MnGrandma's house for a weekend of quilting. I am so surprised to read this, as I haven't talked to MnGrandma (Sherry) in a long time and we've known each other since the first retreat! How special it was to be at the first and meet everyone and now friends for a few years now. I have spoken in email to her but haven't heard from her lately, so this was so sweet. Mandy too was someone I had fun with at the retreat. Sheshowed me how to do "Needlepunch" so we spent a good bit of time at that retreat together. Been friends since then and have shared quite a number of emails over the years. I was still so surprised. I guess words can't express how surprised I was reading this. I'm sure the pic will tell it all
Also in the note she says she used Sherry's (MnGrandma) Sweet Sixteen to quilt the 4 quilts. Says, "I am by no means a professional so please don't look too closely
at my attempts to quilt them. Yea well.. Lisa, they sure look professional to me!!!!  LOVED the quilting. I should have gotten a pic of the quilting on them. I will have to do that and post some more pics of it. I will do that on the blog for sure! Lisa, Awesome JOB on the quilting. I loved it! Now teach me!! lol

She said with the help of Mandy and Sherry attaching the borders and binding and making the pillow cover, they finished all 4 quilts and pillow covering in that weekend! WOW!!! In one weekend??? 4 quilts??? That's awesome ladies!!! You had that machine smoking Lisa!! She said they were a HUGE help and couldn't have finished them without them.

She said, Sherry had quite a bit of border fabric and backing in her stash that they used. She said, in another box is quite a few more blocks that members passed on to me to make the quilt, along with a few other things they wanted me to have. Also, a check with the money that was

also mailed to me to give you. She said to use the money however I wished, for quilting supplies, food, clothes, etc...

Ending remarks, "I hope this brought a smile to your face and that when you sit to relax or
when you need a pick me up, you can cover yourself in the quilt and feel the love from all
of us all over the USA. I had a great time doing this for you my friend, I only wish there was more I could do to help you out. Ya'll had a rough year, but I know 2010 will be a great year for the Noskowiak Family (and I hope this helped a little to get it off to a great start)

Sorry.. I could not help but cry while reading your note!!! I was so deeply touched... watch..

See.. I told ya the tears started!!!! My heart felt like it was a dam.... had all that water
pushed back.... and all of a sudden... "The Dam Broke"!!!!

And it seems as a mother, "You are keeping your kids sheltered and safe"... but when something comes and steals your happiness, you find yourself hutting off the emotions of it all, so you can still tel l your kids to have FAITH!!! Believe in what you can't see... and KNOW We are gonna have a house again, and KNOW 2009 for us could NOT be wished
on your worse enemy... but, just KNOW G-d is great, and he LOVES us... "I tell them, open up your eyes and heart to see, look what people who don't know you all that well, has done for you". That's G-d's hands... His Love for us, His Faithfullness, HIS Protection!! It's what he gives US that we give others.

So sorry, I am sitting here crying all over again. I have kept it bottled up so long for my family. Why does it seem like crying is a weakness sometimes? I guess I feel like if I do this too much in front of them, they will think I myself have lost my faith! I have not one bit, I just know this is a long road already and wish it was over. I do know one thing,
without Faith... I can not go through this!

Well, let me share the next pics Smile Here is me holding the check. The money will go towards paying for a permit to have temporary power on a pole so we can have a little
electricity for cleaning.

My DH was so supportive and was sniffling behind me the whole time. I can HEAR his
heart breaking at times... even without visually seeing tears. Inside, that man is SOFT! I'm so glad! Tears are a good thing, as long as we don't let tears hold us down and choke us to death. Mine are mixed with so many emotions.... but I can truthfully say, mostly cause the LOVE I feel! Lisa, I hope you can see through my tears how much I appreciate you!!!

I know yall think I should be done by now!! I have a few more!!
Here are the kids going for Box#3! Didn't they just hear what I read??? I said, "It's FABRIC for ME!!" LOL

Do you see that look on Taylor's face and me trying to get the box???? hahahaha this is the
first time she took interest in FABRIC!!!

Ok, who sent the pretty purple sheet??? It will go nicely on my bed with my quilt!!! Love it!!!

Beautiful blocks.... and Fossil Fern FQ's! Who did these beautiful Disappearing 9patches?
Love them!!! I have never tried them yet.
Taylor is holding up a block she loved. Says it reminds her of John Deere! She loves
John Deere!

Husband is so curiously looking on! Smile

TeaSea, love the snowman!!! I don't know who did the others but they sure are pretty!

All blocks and fabrics will be put to good use! That's a promise!!!

I so much appreciate the fabrics... love the fossil ferns and I don't have that many. I will try and figure out how to make these dissapearing 9patch blocks! Gosh they are pretty.

Here is another fabric someone sent. Taylor immediately grabbed it! She says it's hers.

I thought about making her a Hebraic dance outfit out of this type. Where can I buy more of it, and what type is it?  Who sent it? Love it!! It's gorgeous! She modeled it, LOL

The camera batteries died after that pic so I didn't get pics of all the blocks that were sent. After putting them all on top of one another it seemed like there were at least 25-30 more. I will definitely use them for quilts. My daughter has claimed some of those Blue ones and the blue and chocolate ones for herself.

Let me say thanks to all the ladies that sent in blocks for quilts for my family. We are so
touched and feel so loved by what you did. Lisa, g/f.... I've known you since the first retreat... loved you then and have had a ball getting to know you over the years. I want to
share something personal with you here.

I can remember as far back as High Schoolwishing I had friends. Back then, to have friends/buddies, you had to be like them! Most of them smoked pot, drank alcohol,
smoked cigarettes... and I wanted to stay as far away as I could from that. It seemed the more I would try to quit smoking and get around a g/f I would start back. I would have this one say, "come on Sonja, one drag... just one drag... it won't hurt you, smoke with me...
you can quit tomorrow"! It wasn't until about 13 years ago that I quit cause I was so hooked! So I tried to stay away from that... but one day I got so hungry for friends and thought "Well, if I have to be like them to have a friend, I am so lonely I will just be like them". One morning I took some pot to school. I had a very very ugly experience I have cared NOT to remember but it's what caused me to drop out of school. I had a nervous condition (and that puts it mildly without disclosing on the board the reason for it all)which
would literally make me wonder at times if I was alive or dead walking around. Paranoia all the time. That lasted about 3 years! Why am I telling you this? Well, for all those years.. I never felt like anyone loved me. I learned to be outspoken and stand up for what I thought, even IF no-one cared what I thought. I was determined I would NEVER EVER be like someone else in order to have friends. So I thought in my mind all these years I had no friends cause everyone wanted me to change and think and do what they thought and what they did.

For the first time in my almost 47 years of life.... YOU have shown me that I truly have friends out here. I never dreamed I'd get these 4 quilts, I never would have thought someone would care that much about me and my family given my past experiences.
When my husband had cancer some years back, the one person I THOUGHT was my friend quit talking to me. Later she told me she was sorry and she couldn't stand watching me go through this with my husband cause she went through it with her boyfriend. I again, lost faith and trust in someone caring about me. Oh, I know G-d does... I know some of my family does... but I had no clue no-one else did.

I've had people do things during this crisis I've never dreamed they would do. I've been so
touched to learn that it's true that when you Give, it comes back! I had someone say to me,
"I've given this, and that and I've never seen it come back". I know they have... I've seen them give too... but I told them this, "It's when you are in NEED that you find out that your needs are supplied"! You Lisa, you have supplied me with the greatest faith in friendship that someone could ever give! You have restored my faith that I DO have friends! I want to tell you from the bottom of my mushy heart how much I love you and
how much I appreciate you. I appreciate all the calls, the text messages telling me to keep my chin up and that you love me and are thinking of me.....but most of all... You said something one day to make me wake up! You said, in a comment on my blog If you don't live now, where you  are, through all you have, you will wake up  and wonder where one month went, then  a year and then a decade and you find you  were not living at all". Boy.... that sure woke  me up! I thought I was doing so, but I guess  I wasn't. I was focusing on my loss... looking at all last year at my losses and could not see  happiness through them. I've had a great family  who has bent over backwards to help take care 
of us too... so there is NO reason I should not go on living no matter how long it takes to get home again!

Lisa, Again.. I can never thank you for it all. I pray the father will openly reward you and 

when it comes your time of need, that you will find, Your cup is always full, for you have given a large measure to us! We love and appreciate you!

MnGrandma- I have missed you dearly. I have lost touch with you along my lifes journey and I pray you are well. I hope you are reading this  as I wanted to let you know I miss seeing you  here. You had so much to contribute here with your talent and knowledge. I know you were busy  with DH's business last I spoke with you. I sure you will be able to come back sometime and post, at least let us hear from you. I still have that borders book I bought that you showed us at the retreat. It was a yellow book and showed how to do the scalloped borders. One of these  days, I hope to learn to make some of those fancy looking borders like you showed us at the retreat. Thanks so much for helping Lisa with the quilts and letting her use your HQ16. I'd loved to have been there! You are so much 

appreciated. Hugsss and love your way!

Mandy- I do get to talk to you once in a while  on FB but it's not often. I miss ya g/f. Life is so busy and for that I am so sorry. Thank you for all the help on these quilts that you 

gave Lisa. It is so much appreciated more than you will ever know. Keep in touch girl! 
Love and Hugs to you!

When I can get my husband and chldren in here, they would like to say thanks to you. 

Instead of them creating an account, I will let them use mine, telling you first who they are!

Thanks Ladies who contributed this time and in the other ways over the past months. 

I have not forgotten what you have done for us and I pray you are blessed in abundance 
for all you do. You have touched our lives deeply.

I have a blog if you are interested in knowing  the depth of our loss, where we are now and our progression. Sorry to say but we haven't progressed much since it happened. It's all on 

the blog if you want to read it. The link to it is at the bottom of my post.

Thanks for letting me post my pics and share my story! This will be going up on my blog and some pics on Facebook as well. Love you All!! 

Thanks Lisa!!! HUGSS Group Hug Group Hug

""""""For those who read my story, please leave me a comment. I'd love to know who stopped by and read it, thanks!"""""""