Manipulation of a parent

This afternoon we were getting our things packed up to leave for Myrtle Beach. We have some sign work to see about there, which is for our barter customers. We figured we could try to get away a little bit. We found out we had a dog sitter available on barter as well, so we had planned to take the dogs with us.

As the day progressed we learned Taylor's friend (D) had offered to see about the dogs for us if we wanted to leave them. We were gonna have to leave the birds anyway. I just hated that. Worrying about someone burning the house the rest of the way with the animals in it has me more worried than the house.  We decided though we would leave them since he promised to let the dogs out often for us.

My son came down this afternoon. He had no idea we had moved back home and didn't want to get into anything, so we really didn't talk about what had really went on at my parents house too much, so he didn't get involved. I had asked (D) to go to my parents house to get my rocking chair that my sons grandmother gave me when I was pregnant with him and that I had rocked him and the rest of my children in. He and Taylor drove down to get it but he was stopped at the door being told he could not get the chair. Not Him, not my daughter, nor my husband. My mother said if I wanted it, I had to come get it myself. Knowing she just wanted to say what she wanted to say to me and we would do nothing but argue, I said, "I will just let her have it"! I have no more energy to argue. In fact, I have been sick for about 3 days now. Nauseated, can't eat much, not taking in enough liquids, feeling like someone socked me in the stomach... I thought I had a virus. Turns out, today I felt well when I woke up but as the events came to pass this afternoon, I began to hurt in my stomach again. So then I realized it was truly my nerves. Not having been to a dr. in 13 years and knowing one reason I had to move  out was because I was getting to the point where if I didn't I was gonna need some nerve meds, I started to realize that my nerves had been really starting to get worse than I thought. So this mechanism goes off in me to just RUN!!!! Run away from it all.... Run away from the pressure... Running not just away from a situation, but running TO peace!

My oldest son like I said was down. He went to talk to my mom about him getting the chair. She told him NO. She said it had been there 10 years and if I wanted it, I had to come get it. He even told her I was upset and didn't want to talk.

I am now physically sick and hate to admit that. I have took care of myself and my family and have been so proud to be in good health. When you think about it though, how much does a person have to go through before their physical body starts to tear down as well?

I can only pray that G-d will continue to give me strength to go on, no matter what decisions I have to make. I remember the quote from his word, "Greater is he who is in ME, than HE that is in the world".  When I am weak, I know he is strong. He knows I am trying to stay quiet, to not talk and stir up anything. I just want to be left in peace now. What's wrong with that?

So we left (D) there with the dogs and birds. He decided to go out and walk the dogs. My brother (not knowing exactly where we were) took the opportunity to go to my house and start talking to (D). He told him if I took him to court over the property he was NOT going to give me the property back. He asked where we were. (D) told him he didn't know but Chris was in the house and I was in town. He said he was sorry he lied.  He said a few other things like, he didn't want anything to come in between him (D) and his friendship". (D) said he was not in it.  I had to let him know tonight that he was NOT in it but I don't like carrying tales, so he enabled my brother to tell him what he wanted to, and then to come back and tell me what he said was exactly what my brother wanted him to do. I honestly am trying to cut ties with people who will go back and forth. I don't want to hear anymore nor do I want my business talked about.

Earlier today while (D) was there. He said my mom told him that she did have respect for him until my sister (R) told her that he did donuts in the road.  Oh my.... is this her daughter whom she said was nothing but a big liar and wanted nothing to do with her while we were living there? Wow how things changed so quickly once we moved out.

We are now in Myrtle Beach. Going to try and not worry about the animals so much tonight. I can only pray that no-one hurts them. If they finish burning my house, well that's ok.... but at least spare my animals.