Back to the only home we had

We left the hotel, birds, dogs and kids. We came back to the only piece of home we had. The smell was just awful, and it was so cold in there. I'm not sure what was colder, the house or my heart. I felt like a whole lot of love and warmness had passed on. I felt so numb. I could not believe, here we were.... back in a home we had loved so much that had caught fire, no other place to go to find peace, just nothing! Where was G-d I wondered?

We went back to my moms to get all our stuff packed up. It wasn't long after we got there and my sister and her husband came up. My mom had called her and told her about what happened. Although she said she was not in it, I felt like I had lost the only one I thought cared about me at that moment. I could not believe she came and watched us pack up. I was hurt, but so was the rest of my family. No-one offered to help us, but they stood and watched us as we packed and took things to the van. Taylor's boyfriend was a big help as he had his truck there and he helped us get our things.

It was a long hard day. I can not say I ever have felt this empty inside in all my life. I felt like everyone I had thought loved me, had gone. Almost like me thinking they loved me was just a disillusion or something. I mean, how could family just watch this? 

We bundled up to stay warm and we petitioned off part of the house so we could stay in the living room. We slept on the old fire damaged furniture cause by this time, we still had not gotten it out the house.

We called a guy we knew from the local campground and asked about taking a shower. He told us we were welcome, anytime. Thank you G-d, we know you are here with us.